Got Sober in 1997 on Catalina Island. Learned that Alcoholic Thinking preceded
Alcoholic Drinking. What is Alcoholic Thinking? Told it was the delusion that self-will had the necessary power to control drinking and every thing else in life with sufficient effort.
Self-will didn’t work. Meditation revealed the inability to control my thoughts.
Not able to quiet the mind. Unable to think to good purpose.
What to do? Had to study and constantly apply and reapply the principles of the
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions in such a way that they could become the default way of looking at the world. Had to do this with the help of a Sponsor. Self could not reveal Self to Self.
What eventually happened? Self-will diminished and a new awareness began to
take its place. Something more powerful started to become the basis for life. Okay to call it a “Higher Power” or God if you like. Felt happier, less stressful, more joyful and intuitive. Much more humility. Relationships with family and others improved
dramatically. Finally a part of something much bigger than myself.
How to maintain this? Service to others was the answer. A new purpose. Keeps
me away from self-absorption. Also necessary to maintain a conscious contact with this new power. Can only find it in the present moment. Do this through daily
repetition of the Third and Seventh Step prayers. Learned a mantra from my sponsor: “The Grace of God is within me…The Grace of God surrounds me”.
Bill L