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The Importance of Step Two

Early in Sobriety, my second Sponsor said that when an alcoholic is having trouble getting sober or staying sober, the problem often lies in Step Two- the inability or unwillingness to have faith that a higher power can change your life for the better. Paired with Step One, the decision to go forward (Step Three) or step backward into the abyss of despair should really be a “no-brainer”. A modicum of Faith rather than experience based Belief is necessary for the transition.

Well….this might sound complex enough, but is it really? The first two sentences in Step One of the Twelve and Twelve state: “Who cares to admit complete defeat” and “Practically no one, of course”. Can an unmanageable life by itself actually induce Surrender, or does complete defeat have to come from somewhere else? How does the birth and maintenance of Faith emerge from a spiritual void? How are character defects removed by something other than Self will?

The Black Dog loves a mystery and doesn’t really need to understand or explain anything. A demonstration is more important. He just wants dog biscuits, a place to sleep, kindness, a good walk, and a purposeful life. There is a program of action for him outlined in the Traditions starting with the realization that recovery from a fatal addiction depends on the power of A.A. unity and not the power of Self. Faith makes this possible.

The Black Dog

That Better Part of Me

“So our troubles, we think are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, although he usually doesn’t think so Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must or it kills us! God makes that possible.” [Big Book page 62]

This quote from Chapter Five of the Big Book (to me) explains everything, and yet explains nothing. There is no logic to it, just mystery based on faith and experience. An article in a Grapevine issue describes the AA program as not so much analytical as evidential. The results speak for themselves. This goes all the way back to Roland Hazard’s second encounter with Carl Jung when the great doctor told his patient that he was a chronic alcoholic, and he had never seen a single case recover with the state of mind possessed by the man before him, but once in a while “vital spiritual experiences” prove to be the cure.

So why is any of this important? Like the principle of “attraction rather than promotion” in Tradition 11, the spiritual remedy to the plague of selfishness is either there or it isn’t. It is only through a conscious attempt to engage with that better part of me which is beyond my understanding, that progress to a better life can be made. I do this not only through prayer and meditation but also through service to others. For convenience and the ability to better carry a message of recovery to another alcoholic, I refer to that better part of me as God.

The black dog

“In my experience”. What a transforming way to communicate and begin dialogue. Those three words have changed my whole way of speaking and view on life and how I talk and share about it. AA taught me this wonderful gift of only sharing through “my experience”. Not what I think,  or guess, but just what I know through real times and events in my life. Never again do I need to tell someone what I think they should do but instead offer guidance from what I have learned by what I have gone through. If I have no experience in a topic asked upon me, my answer can be as simple as “I’m not sure”, “I have never been through that”. But then the next part is even better. After I have now said “I don’t know”, it can be followed with “I can find someone who does and has been through that and we can see what they have to say.” Speaking in only truths. You have been through it or something similar or you haven’t. It’s amazing. I don’t just talk like that in meetings or with my sponsor but in every situation now. I never knew something so small could make such a big impact on my life and how I felt speaking. I lived a life before when all I did was give my worthless opinions out constantly. Nobody ever asked for them but I sure believed everyone should know what I thought. You know, genius boy over here. Thank God I don’t feel that way anymore. Just those three little words made all the difference. When I got sober I didn’t want to lie anymore and by starting my thoughts and sentences with  “in my experience” my words will only be true.

I am loving seeing the AA family getting back together, in person after these hard times.  The events have been wonderful to say the least. Multiple picnics hosted by different districts and one by the DEIG, a “Father’s in Recovery ” event,  guest speakers, service work at it’s finest, excellent food, games, fellowship, red ball (purple) meetings, friends and family support from all over. You name it and the list goes on. What a time in Maine for the summer. The service work from volunteers to make it all happen with joyful hearts is a sight to see. After a couple hard years of the “zoom” era, we are starting to get back out. And by getting back out lately I personally have met at least a hundred new people from my surrounding communities and districts. I love it.  There are a lot of things to be grateful for, but I’m glad to now add these times as well. The can of worms have been opened and I am here for it.

Let’s keep the great summer time rolling together, as we grow in unity as a whole.

Heath W.

My me, me, me thoughts are always ready to jump back into action, especially when I have been working extra long hours and burning the candle on both ends. I’m beat mentally and physically.  In my mind I’m doing what I think is right. Working hard for my family. Trying to support and provide for them at all costs. But what sometimes happens when I’m over working  is I start to think  in tunnel vision again. I’m working so hard on one thing, I lose focus on everything else going on around me.  I begin thinking and feeling that everything revolves around me and that I’m the only person in the world, that matters.  Those are the thoughts I work so hard at not having anymore. It just shows for me what happens when I’m not close to the program. I’m not staying spiritually fit. If I do not continue to do the things that got me here even when I think I am to busy, my old thinking takes over like it never left. Continue reading

Got Sober in 1997 on Catalina Island. Learned that Alcoholic Thinking preceded
Alcoholic Drinking. What is Alcoholic Thinking? Told it was the delusion that self-will had the necessary power to control drinking and every thing else in life with sufficient effort.

Self-will didn’t work. Meditation revealed the inability to control my thoughts.
Not able to quiet the mind. Unable to think to good purpose.

What to do? Had to study and constantly apply and reapply the principles of the
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions in such a way that they could become the default way of looking at the world. Had to do this with the help of a Sponsor. Self could not reveal Self to Self.

What eventually happened? Self-will diminished and a new awareness began to
take its place. Something more powerful started to become the basis for life. Okay to call it a “Higher Power” or God if you like. Felt happier, less stressful, more joyful and intuitive. Much more humility. Relationships with family and others improved
dramatically. Finally a part of something much bigger than myself.

How to maintain this? Service to others was the answer. A new purpose. Keeps
me away from self-absorption. Also necessary to maintain a conscious contact with this new power. Can only find it in the present moment. Do this through daily
repetition of the Third and Seventh Step prayers. Learned a mantra from my sponsor: “The Grace of God is within me…The Grace of God surrounds me”.

Bill L

Send your submissions to webeditor@downeastintergroup.org
We are always encouraging our community to share their stories of experience, strength, and hope with others.

One of the most amazing things that this wonderful program in A.A. has taught me is that at anytime and anywhere and as many times as it takes, I can start my day over. That’s something in my old life I could never do. I would get mad over anything and hold on to it with a death grip, taking it with me everywhere I went. There would be times when I’d get so upset about something early in the day and just like that, the rest of my day was ruined.  I’d huff and I’d puff around letting everyone around me know I was upset, trying to blow everyone’s “house” down. I was easily miserable a lot and my only hope to not feel that way was to make it to tomorrow and start over, but not anymore! Continue reading

What do the Holidays really have to do with staying sober? Well for many they were a great excuse for drinking and so it may feel a little strange trying to find “Holiday Cheer” in a sober world. That may mean we have to work extra hard to remember sobriety is a sober alcoholic’s main job.

Somewhere in the Big Book, it says something like, “…we don’t have to fight anything or anybody.” I was recently reminded that not everyone feels that way. Still, as my friend Sam says, “I don’t have to go to every fight I’m invited to.” (I hope he doesn’t mind me quoting him here!) If I’m going to miss a good blood-boiling fight then I need to fill that time with a good fun-loving party. Sobriety is found in positive projects that require action.

So it’s not about staying away from a fight or a drink, it’s about filling my time and attitudes with better things and sobriety. So I need to focus on bringing good to the world around me. Focus on how can I help someone or be of service somewhere?

That is very much what the Downeast Intergroup was founded on and is all about. Literature sales buy more books. Contributions pay for more Meeting Lists. This website tries to bring groups and districts together. There are many other Service Offices and Intergroups but there’s only one Downeast Intergroup…

So keep in touch with your Intergroup. Send upcoming anniversaries, events, and service get-togethers. Send a blog post for this page. Notice that the email addresses to contribute and get in touch with the Intergroup are all over this website!

Let the people around you know that sobriety looks good, sounds good, and is a valuable part of your community. That’s a holiday message I can get behind…

Stay safe and have fun!

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You will find articles, observations, and ramblings here from people related to the DEIG.

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